was your ex gf really psycho or did she just have trust issues because of your lack of communication & ignorance of her genuine concerns

You Might Also Like


Bro i hate when babies start acting brand new like mf it’s me, i just saw you last week and we were best friends don’t do this to me


I bought myself flowers at the store because I thought they were pretty.

Husband: Did I do something?
Me: No.
Husband: What’s the date?
Me: April 10th.
Husband: Is that an important date signifying anything?
Me: No.
Husband: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Husband, sweating: ok


It is true. Time flies when you are having fun.

However it is also true that Time eventually rests on a tree branch and shits on your head.


[When water has one thing in it]
SOCIETY: That’s gross you have to throw it out.

[When water has many things in it]
SOCIETY: That’s soup it’s food now.


[blind date]

HER: I love the fall

ME {trying to impress her}: Lucifer had it coming


My daughter asked me what marriage is like, so I threw out all her Ken dolls, except for the bald drunk one.


I scream, you scream, we all scream, while I’m crawling under the bathroom stall to say hi to you.


Why do we never see “Side effects may include spontaneous happiness, explosive giggling, uncontrollable hugging, and diarrhea”?


I love using food in the bedroom!

But, when it comes to wearing a condiment…

I mayo may not.