@TheBoydP: Me ten years ago: I can’t believe people are giving up their landlines. That’s crazy. Me today: I can’t believe people still have their landlines. That’s crazy.

@mommajessiec: My kids are fighting and screaming loudly outside. I should probably do something. *closes window*

@bmarked21: From now on when people forcefully show me pictures of their baby, I'm simply going to reply, "Hmm... I've seen better."

@LizHackett: I miss the days before the internet, when you didn't know some person's every awful thought until they died and you cleaned out their attic.

@_LittleMsBossy_: Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings.