There’s no easy way to steal a watermelon.
we baptize all our dinosaurs just in case all that catholic shit turns out to be true
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Rian Johnson: good and bad are 2 sides of the same coin. the resistance and first order both obtain their weapons from the same people, and the only thing that separates the jedi from the sith is an outdated flawed code.
JJ Abrams: bad people have shark teeth lol
me: *entering the ocean*
ocean: how about at least buying me dinner first?
Couples are the worst, followed closely by single people.
Words are fun. A “bat” can be a piece of sports equipment or an animal. A “spirit” can be a ghost or a beverage. A “content” creator can be someone who creates videos or who walks around screaming all of the time.
her: well don’t just stand there, say something
me: they should make paintbrushes that look like bob ross
her: i said i’m pregnant matt
me: his hair could be the brush part
It’s adorable how I write “beer” on my shopping list like I’d somehow forget.
Current beard: Outdoor woodsman
Current body: Indoor couchman
*weigh myself on different scales and am two pounds lighter*
Ah these are more accurate…
Clyde: I’m looking 4 a partner. What’s ur name?
C: That ur real name?
“Nope. Jekyll Elizabeth Parker”
C: …Bonnie it is