@thedad: Hey if a public bathroom door is locked don't forget to try to repeatedly open it and give the person using it paralyzing anxiety

@TheTweetOfGod: Journalists love covering Lindsay Lohan because what she is to actresses, they are to professions.

@Storminika: I donate blood 5 times a year just so I'm less and less related to some of my relatives.

@Storminika: If men could get pregnant, not only would abortions be legal, I think McDonald's would be doing it.

@tarashoe: please sir. i beg of you. don't take away my job. i've got a tuscan kitchen & 2 full baths at home. sir. sir please. my kitchen. it's tuscan