Some of you need to review your settings or medication…
I’m not sure which but it’s definitely showing.
We really are the most blessed generation. We’ve had 7 iPhones and 7 Fast and Furious movies.
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I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids.
Take me down to Vatican City where the church loves greed and the Pope’s all quitty!
– Nuns N’ Moses
(I’m so sorry)
did… did they arrest the mountain lions
Marriage is funny. I say potato and my husband says what’s with the credit card bill.
Allow me to demonstrate my special technique of hearing what isn’t being said.
Plugging your phone into your work computer: “Would you like this device to access your photos?”
No! Abort! Abort!!
Directions: Allow food to sit and cool for five minutes before eating.
Breaking News: Reliable sources reveal that Donald Trump is actually Cthulu. The absurd hairdo isn’t absurd at all. It hides the tentacles.