Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
[wears my camouflage hat] where’s my camouflage hat
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What if Daft Punk is just a couple of rad old ladies who met in knitting club and shared a love of sick beats?
*Digging my own grave* sounds like a lot of exercise just to lie down.
The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003.
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
Question of the day :
If the early bird gets the worm, why do good things come to those who wait?
When I think about all that potatoes have done for me I get a little teary eyed
Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn’t see himself in a mirror.
Me, as a judge: OK we’ll take a quick recess now.
*lawyers start discussing lawyer things*
*I go outside and swing on the swingset*
“Wait, let me explain..”