@joeljeffrey: Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.
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@Thing_Finder: Someone stole my identity. And then sent it back with $100 and a note that said "So sorry man. Hope things work out."
@DrunksWithGuns: If you blast Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is", the naked old guys in the gym locker room cover up pretty damn quick.
@hero_ofthenight: I feel like every time I go to Walmart I automatically witness the contradiction to their slogan being: 'save money, live better'
@maddie11_Anders: Do you think that a funeral director signs his letters with ' yours eventually'?