@ZiziFothSi: Went to praise an animal, got stuck between saying “good girl” and “good dog”, and just quietly muttered “good god” at a spaniel
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@BlindChow: *interrogating cat* Admit it! You're a Communist! "Meow" A no-good red! "Meow" Tough guy eh? "Meow" We can do this all night. "Mao" You–wait
@GABBYdaAngSaya: Me: I think we need to break up Her: Now is not a good time Me: Okay *we ride the rollercoaster in silence*
@LosLos__: Interviewer: Vader says you aren't the Jedi you used to be. What do you have to say to that? Yoda: Ousside Dagobah, cash me.
@psybermonkey: Me: what was with King Solomon having 300 concubines? Bible scholar: it's a mistranslation [Flashback] King Solomon: more porcupines