@sammyrhodes: “We’re going to need a bigger pocket.” - iPhone 6 Plus
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@squirrel74wkgn: (Age 22) *chugs bottle of water* Let's shoot some more hoops! (Age 42) *chugs bottle of water* I gotta pee.
@BoomBoomBetty: [after my funeral] Someone: hey remember in the Neverending Story when Artax the horse was in the swamp of sadn— My disembodied spirit: NO. Still too soon.
@Angrea: You can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone crazy here! Of course, if you're swinging a dead cat you probably shouldn't be so judgy.