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@LynneMcCarthy: What do you call a group of kids?
..... a migraine
@Wine_Honey1: The store said to “holla” if I needed help, so crying, I got on the intercom and started screaming “I need wine” & “Save me from these kids, Jesus”.
And that’s how I got banned from Target.
@Book_Krazy: I call bullshit on vampires that look all sexy and shit when they can't even see their reflection
@JasonLastname: [boss starts giggling uncontrollably during his presentation as I tickle a voodoo doll]
@chuuew: OPTOMETRIST: Better or worse? Better or worse?
ME: You don't *have* to talk during sex
@Fred_Delicious: *sees a hot girl on the train*
"ay gurl check this out"
*i try to seductively eat a banana but i miss my mouth & smush it into my forehead*