@badbanana: What does stormtrooper armor protect against, exactly? Knives?
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@_sweet_ham: I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
@fro_vo: [shark tank] ME: it’s a belt with a clock on it SHARK: this is a waste of time ME: *waist
@simoncholland: Me: *buying a pair of socks and a pack of gum* Kohl's cashier: You saved $439 today.