I played the word “mature” in a game of Scrabble. My friend played “immature” and got the Triple Word Score so I flipped the board over.
What happens when Christopher’s car breaks down?
You Might Also Like
Me: BOOP! teehee!
Me: sorry. did you want me to touch MY nose?
did you write “make all the traps from home alone” on the calendar
[me at hardware store holding paint cans and feathers] “no”
Me *enters new password*
Me: Aren’t you going tell me it’s too weak?
Computer: It is but you don’t handle criticism very well
Me *crying* that’s not true
Track coach: run like the wind!
Dude from Oklahoma: *spins*
If you were a plant which one would you be? I’d be nuclear power
the worst thing about getting attacked by a crocodile is that your friends will probably scream “watch out for that alligator!” and then you will have to explain to them the difference while it’s eating your face
Kanye West says he’s the Michael Jordan of music. If he’s talking about the time when Michael Jordan was playing baseball, I totally agree.
You are my sunshine.
In the sense that long term exposure to you is slowly killing me.
Goddammit, the only meat we’ve had in months has spoiled
Goddammit, there’s a seed in this watermelon