When people say “You look so familiar” responding with “Were we in prison together?” is almost always a conversation killer.
What if global warming *is* a hoax and we clean up our air and oceans, create millions of jobs, and become energy independent for nothing?
You Might Also Like
YOU CAN’T BE BOTH A NAZI AND A PROUD AMERICAN.
WE LITERALLY HAD A WAR ABOUT THIS.
THE WHOLE WORLD WAS INVOLVED.
When you say, “save me some nachos” and I say, “okay” think Rose at the end of Titanic saying “I’ll never let go”..as she lets go.
Pronouncing words correctly is not my fort.
Kids wont go to sleep so I’m playing hide&seek. And now they’ll never find me, because they aren’t old enough to drive or get into this bar.
Me- mom stop you are never funny. You never make joke.
Mom- I made you
Parenting means you will never say “What?!” again without sounding annoyed.
Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device.
a lot to take in here.
her: wow you wear those jeans everyday you must have like 5 pairs
me: [owns 1 pair of jeans] haha, 6 actually