@WheelTod: A great summer prank is to park your car just outside the mall with a fully cooked ham in baby clothes strapped into a child seat.

@TheRolo: If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out.

@CollegeHumorLol: When I see my cat staring out the window, I sit behind him and whisper, "Look, Simba, Everything the light touches is our kingdom".

@the_anastasia: When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed.

@farahfergie: Premarital counseling should be having the couple put together IKEA furniture with limited Wi-Fi connection. #weddingparty #romance