@behindyourback: when I was 9 I thought anyone who preferred strawberry ice cream was weird and sad and now I love strawberry ice cream so I was right
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@3sunzzz: Monday 8am: I write a list of things that must get done today. Monday 6pm: I scratch MON off of the top of the entire list and write TUES.
@Mom_Overboard: Someone: wanna hear something interesting? Anxiety: for the love of God say no SAY NO Me: sure Anxiety: you brought this on yourself
@DeepDarkFear: "Hate it when I think of her and suddenly we're teleported to a picturesque location, and have to dance to a random love song." - Indians
@truegritrumble: ME: Distinguished fellow, have you seen a monster in this Loch? LOCHNESS MONSTER (wearing a massive fake mustache): *monster noises*