@SunshineJarboly: when space aliens arrive and ask us to take them to our leader we should take them to the zoo and show them a flamingo
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@underchilde: A jury of my peers would just be 12 people who hate that they had to get up before noon.
@3sunzzz: I write fake chores on my to-do list just to scribble them out, then my husband thinks I do more.
@KalvinMacleod: CAR GPS: turn left PHONE GPS: turn right C: who was that? ME: just a friend P: just a friend? ME: wait C: make an illegal U-turn ME: babe