I accidentally dripped some mustard on my newborn daughter’s forehead and long story short a nurse just walked in and saw me lick the baby.
When we do get this coronavirus vaccine, it better not just be cake.
You Might Also Like
Me: get it? ab solution?
Priest: so excommunicated
I am really shocked that there is not a website devoted solely to the most clever Wi-Fi names of all-time.
Mother of God, the man solved unsolvable crimes for eight straight seasons. When he says he has a hunch, believe him the first time.
“I’m really good in bed”
My new cat, John Cena, wants me to remind y’all to never let your kids name your pets.
I ran into my ex today.
Long story short, my car is totaled.
We’ve all been talking about your paranoia.
*sits gf down*
i am about to ask you a big question. if you dont know the answer then thats ok… *clears throat* where is the space jam dvd
*eats 3 edibles*
…am….am I my dogs sugar daddy