@NoogsCorner: When your partner cheats on you, do what every respectable person does. Post their name and phone number on 4Chan.
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@vladchoc: Nice try, theatre ad. But some of us don't need to put our phones on silent, for we have prevented calls with our deplorable personalities.
@mattZillaaaa: My friends are like "hey come camping with us this weekend" & I'm like "I can't, I have to get new friends"
@crunchenhanced: If you walk into a meeting and say “sorry, I have to go to another meeting.” You can avoid every meeting. You’re welcome.
@papasuncle: coworker: you alright? me: my lunch isn't agreeing with me. my lunch: global warming is a myth