You’re following someone who just picked up a candle and tried to drink it
Whenever I’m in doubt, I ask myself “What would Jesus do?” then I remember Jesus got crucified, his decision making skills weren’t brilliant
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the Lord is my shepherd, He shaves my entire body to make sweaters
Stranger: You look like you need a hug.
Me: No. That’s just my face.
10YO: What 6 things would you want on a deserted island?
Me: 1) You–
10YO: Seriously? Why would you drag me into that?
Husband: Come on baby, do that thing that I love.
Me: *stuffs an entire jelly doughnut into my mouth*
“Let’s play 21 questions”
Nigerian Girl: how tall are you?
Nigerian Guy: Rice. What’s the worst thing you’ve done with a guy?
Before company arrives we like to clean our house so there’s no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other 364 days of the year!
There should be an “oh my god, shut up already” button.
Lack of diversity in period pieces is wild. It’s as if black ppl were invented during slavery got discontinued then relaunched in the 60s.