Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.
Where there’s a will there’s an “OMG! What’s it say!? What does it say?”.
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Fox News reports that President Obama rapped his oath in Arabic while cutting the head off a goat.
The only thing sexier than a girl wearing glasses is a girl wearing only glasses.
Adults with big round heads have kids with big round heads so for god sakes please try to date outside your head shape.
My sports team is better than your sports team!
*pulls out giant foam finger*
Whoa man, be cool
Me, 7yrs ago: NO EATING in my new car. I mean spotless
Me, Now: u hungry car? *mashes donut into CD player*
Why did Norway put barcodes on their military boats?
So they could…..Scan da Navy in!
*Gets on plane*
*Takes out earbuds*
People who talk with your phone on speaker like it’s a Star Trek Communicator –
we’re trying to have a society here. And everyone hates you.