While it may be physically possible to have a baby after 40, forty children are probably enough.
You Might Also Like
These are the questions people should be asking. 🤣
In the beginning God said, “let there be light,” and my dad said, “my electric bill is going to be through the roof; do you think I’m made of money?”
[Me, being lowered into my grave.
Email still buzzing nonstop]Zillow: 7 new burial plots just listed in your area
Target: 20% off all women’s death shrouds
Amazon: It’s never too late to treat yourself from your wishlist
My only stock options are chicken and beef.
Papa Seal: Son, is your fractured flipper feeling any better?
Baby Seal: Daddy, it really hurts! Can’t you give me some Tylenol for the pain??
Papa Seal: I wish I could, son, but it said “Do not use if seal is broken.”
Breaking news:
*sits bolt upright in bed* the pikachu is stored in the pokeballs
I was wondering why Hoobastank chose that band name so I investigated it some and the reason is you.
Stuffs more popcorn in my face*
Why don’t bad guys in movies just paint the red wire green?
“that’s why they pay me the medium bucks” always kills in meetings. that’s free for you to use any time you want, buddy. little gift from me to you
What do I “do for fun”? I’m an adult. It’s a good day if nothing breaks in my house, I don’t need Ibuprofen, and my favorite laundry detergent goes on sale.
*dipping a pine cone in my coffee* Gosh I just love fall
Why does everyone despise us lazy people so much? We didn’t do anything.
Our system is shit. I’m 24 and only have two years left on my moms health insurance. Then, I have to find a new mother
I never rule out murder as the crime, even when it’s jaywalking.
If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag.
This Is total BULLSHIT! You can’t even find ACME anvils on ebay.
THIS IS WHY THE ALIENS DON’T TAKE US SERIOUSLY!
What idiot called it a pharmacy and not a “coughy shop”
Q: If you could be any animal, which one would you be?
A: The drummer from the Muppets, next question.
Sorry I declined your Facebook friend request, but I can’t have those sideburns popping up in my news feed unannounced.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream
Wife: I love that we finish each other’s-
Me: Drinks?
W: What? No. I was gonna say sentences HEY WHERE’S MY
Me: Margarita?
All I got for Christmas was a sweater, I would’ve preferred a moaner or a biter.
He’s a one eyed optometrist with a cauliflower addiction. She hunts babies for sport. But could a chance Christmas encounter mean a forever love blossoms. Find out this Saturday on The Hallmark Channel.
As a kid, I always wondered why my mom never wore the macaroni necklace I made her to work. And now I’m a mom and I’m like, Oh. OK.
Elmer Fudd discusses relationship with Bugs Bunny in revealing new interview. “Pwofessional. Not fwiends…it’s compwicated.”
Townspeople: [shaking pitchforks at me] BURN THE WITCH
Me: lmao go ahead I can take it
Townspeople: you have a dumb face
Me: [tearing up] ok I was wrong I can’t take it
me: do you take walk-ins
morgue: what
Thankfully, these political ads will be over soon, then we can move on to the civil war stage
You can’t scare me. You’re not my husband holding my credit card over the shredder.