@AlexRogaski: [God making African animals] Screw it. Just put stripes on a horse, make that water lizard really big, and put spots on a really tall deer.

@wittwitbarista: You remind me of a nebula. A newborn star Full of energy, color, and completely dense while being unstable.

@Stella1070: Amy Winehouse's final album was "recorded before her death." Thanks for the clarification.

@jordan_stratton: Please stop telling me how long your baby is in inches. I need something more visually relatable. Oh, your baby was 3.5 hot dogs long? Cool.

@TravLeBlanc: I'm a failure as a sociopath. I'm just not very good at manipulating and taking advantage of people. I'm more of a so-sopath.