@JohnLyonTweets: Who needs fireworks when I have aluminum foil and a microwave?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@HousewifeOfHell: I tried bringing sexy back, but it scratched me, scampered away, and hid under a car.
@Matt_the_1st: Who me? Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.
@That_Damn_Duck: How I wear a scarf: 1. Take scarf and drape it over my shoulder 2. Find an annoying co-worker and choke them to death with it. 3. Repeat