@JohnLyonTweets: Who needs fireworks when I have aluminum foil and a microwave?
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@flashember: Me, 1st day as a geographer: ice is lonely water Senior geographer: what M: and rain is happy water S: no M: fog is ghost water S: pls stop
@buhsbaby_baby: Me: I LOVE Pokémon Go! Him: Are you just collecting caterpillars and putting them in your purse?! Me:
@JohnLyonTweets: Santa Claus: I bring presents to children around the world. Easter Bunny: I bring children baskets of candy. Tooth Fairy: I collect human teeth. *others back away*
@ShutUpThatsWho: MAGICIAN: can you pass me my top hat? MAGICIAN'S ASSISTANT: what's the magic word? MAGICIAN: *sigh* can you abracadabra pass me my top hat?