@hurlarious: Why doesn't every mistake in real life I make have a squiggly red line underneath it?
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@SortaBad: 2008: I want a career where I change the world 2012: It’d be great to make decent money doing something I’m proud of 2018: crying in my cube 4x a week is ONLY acceptable if I make enough money to afford tissues
@NJPsychDoc: Marriage has taught me that communication is key. I talk to my therapist & she talks to hers. Its not perfect, but its progress.
@QueefTornado: Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.