@TheBoydP: Why is it called “fixing a flat” and not “retirement?”
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@aneesa_p: Contrary to popular belief, when I call tech support, I don't know what the Indian dude is saying either.
@spiritusloquens: My fortune cookie: "Like a hair on a bar of soap, you're likely harmless, but regarded as disgusting and nobody likes you..."
@Home_Halfway: The most annoying part about getting older is the incessant desire to give those younger than me unwanted advice.
@ch000ch: ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know