@TheBoydP: Why is it called “fixing a flat” and not “retirement?”
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@TheCatWhisprer: I was homeschooled so my back to school pics were of me standing in front of the house before I went back inside.
@jngraphs: Me: Nice new car, boss Boss: Well, if you set yourself targets, work hard, stay focused, next year I'll be able to buy an even better one
@sucittaM: My wife thinks I'm stupid for using Twitter so much. But I think she's stupid for marrying me, so I think we all know who won this argument.