@batkaren

Why just pufferfish? Why not other pufferanimals?

Why not a pufferpuma?

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@jwoodham

The only way I’m coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.

@MensHumor

Obviously you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the meaning of ignorance!

@chris_isloi

Holy shit, remember rhymes with September. If no one thought about putting that in a song, I’m gonna be rich.

@jake_likes_naps

“Daddy will u tuck me in?:)”
“Ok”
*tucks him in*
“Daddy sing me a song:)”
“Ok”
*clears throat*
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES H

@Cheeseboy22

Parenting tip: If your kids are fighting in the back seat of the car, stick your arm over and swing it around a bunch. That’ll show em’.

@OBiiieeee

My dog and I are just drivin around, listenin to music and OMG DOG DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE? PAWS AT 10 AND 2. DO NOT FOLLOW THAT SQUIRREL