@VictorscarletJ: Seriously...if you need a sign to remind you to wash your hands after taking a shit or piss. Stay home

@NicestHippo: In my day cartoons made sense. Chipmunks did all the rescue rangering and a rich duck swam in gold coins like they were water

@claire_mudie: My boyfriend is watching Glee voluntarily and tapping his foot and smiling. That makes me a lesbian now, right?

@sbellelauren: pregnancy tests should just read "pregnant" or "nope just fat"

@boxergraphix: #Itssocoldthat..A streaker froze in mid-streak! The town council just stuck a plaque on him and pretended he was a Greek statue until spring