@FrazzleMyGimp: Wife: I’m leaving you
Me: why
Wife: because you always make up lies to get me intrigued
Me: well then I guess you’ll never find the buried treasure
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DamienFahey: The Rainforest Cafe isn't realistic enough for me. Part of the restaurant should burn down by the time you finish your meal.
@sumpeoplelikeit: If you ask me where your glasses are, and they're on your head, I will help you look for them forever.
@TheRolo: [Text convo] Her: Can I come over right now? Me: [Puts entire mess in closet, puts high thread count sheets on bed & sprays Febreeze] Sure.
@BlondAmbitionTO: I'm too immature to use a recipe that calls for cumin.
@CoachChelley: How many zombies would Rob Zombie rob if Rob Zombie could rob zombies?
COMMENTS