Person: how does writing work?
Writer: well you type & you delete. You rethink. Then you do 187 min of research & correct it. You reread & wonder if you have a grasp of English. Then you revise
Person: then you’re done with the book?
Writer: then you move to the next sentence
Wife: I’m trying to decide between tacos or pasta for dinner. What are your thoughts?
Me: They’re, like, little voices that say things in my head.
You Might Also Like
Having friends sounds like a fun idea until they start trying to make plans with you.
My son and his friends are great … They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home
guy: you wanna take this outside?
me: yeah, let’s do this
[we take the raspberry lemonade out back and have a simply lovely afternoon]
WIFE: *pulls away from kissing* does he really have to be here
ME: yes i paid good money for this
NBA JAM ANNOUNCER: HES HEATING UP
Remember how when you were little you could just rip off your diaper and run around naked and everyone thought it was funny?
Anyway, I need bail money.
You’re pretty cocky for someone with such a small…
i asked my 4 yr old niece if she wanted a baby brother or sister and she replied she just wanted pizza rolls
“Todd, where the hell is the getaway car?”
TODD: *zooming up on a Segway* FOSSIL FUELS ARE RUINING THIS PLANET, GARY
Pediatrician: I’d like to discuss your son’s limited interest in, or ability to, interact with others.
Me: Absolutely. Email me?