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@ADHDeanASL

When witches and warlocks correspond about their carnal passions, they’re hexting

@Howiesbookclub

Puts an “I love Daddy” shirt on my kids until they’re old enough to read.

@22_Minutes

Air Canada says 20,000 mobile app users have been affected by a data breach. On the upside, the hackers might know where your lost luggage is.

@KeetRidley

“Hey, your fly’s down”

Oh shit..

*pets fly’s head* you’ll be alright little buddy, chin up.. we’ll get you some new wings

@nachosarah

hey pregnant lady slowly crossing the street on a green light it’s a baby not a forcefield

@Pro_Jones_

(Little Red Riding Hood but instead it’s me dressed as the grandma)

Little Red: Grandma what bad tweets you have.

Me: Okay what the

@just1fool

If you ask me to go get “Eyetalian” food with you, our friendship is probably over.

@GreenishDuck

People with little chains that go from a nose piercing to an earring probably just got sick of losing their ears.

@GayDeceiver

Meanwhile, in Facebook,

Greta, who dislikes the gays, is about to get a big surprise from her son and his “roommate” of 20 years.

@miowoda

This is the funniest YouTube comment I’ve ever read.