@flashember: [Wildebeest being lowered Mission Impossible-style from a helicopter to graze the grasses of Buckingham Palace]
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@imence2: Step 1:Make pillows with"Love" printed on them Step 2:Become a lawyer Step 3:Defend men who smother their GF with love Step 4:Become rich
@ghostkrogh: judge: 99 yrs me: is it cos i called ur gavel a justice hammer? judge: no that actually helped me: killing then judge: yeah the killing
@samlymatters: If your coffee shop has a passive aggressive "no wifi pretend it's the old days" sign I'm gonna smoke in there & pay 50 cents for coffee.
@david8hughes: [pinned down by sniper fire] Squad leader: I'm going in. Hughes, lay down some cover for me Me [putting a blanket on the floor]: you betcha