@notenoughwine: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you
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@sa_mohn: In school it be like 2+2=4. Homework: 2x8+3=19. Then the test: Juan has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the suns mass. Wtf
@i_wantMyBiitch: I gently slid her panties to the side.... so that I cud fit the rest of her socks in the drawer.
@fowlerism: Hey girl, are you the barbed wire fence surrounding Meryl Streep's house? Cause I just can't seem to get over you