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@tsm560: Women denied dating me long before Moby made it cool
@panku_: Why do infants wake up crying as if they are the ones who have to go out and work!?
*everyone does the macarena but like really ironically*
@KaptainKoRnie: Bf and I are on 2 completely different emotional planes right now.
Work faster, whiskey.
@mzyvonne7: There is no "we" in pizza
@beingbernz: To all the boys I didn’t really like but then realized they liked me so I started liking them and then they stopped liking me so it made me like them more.