@NoogsCorner: Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way.
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@BillFienberg: I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10.
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: How would you define yourself? ME: *don't let her know you're a delicious chocolate cake* Moist
@Tharin_P: "What do missiles, camels, and common fetishes have in common?" "...What?" " -Toes." "Out. Just get out."