@MNateShyamalan: women’s shower products be like “lock in moisture” and “rejuvenate pores,” while men’s are all “smell like hammer, you idiot”
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@JohnMayer: Them: “when are you back?” You: “next week.” (Week passes) You: “I’m back, let’s hang.” Them: “how long are you here?”
@Darlainky: They don't put calorie counts or serving suggestions on boxed wine. They know you've got enough problems already.
@Deirdreocx: [Courtroom] Judge: Have you been up before me? Convict: I don't know, Judge. What time were you up this morning?