@cowboyjeffkent

Wow your rib cage and hip bones look stunning !!!

Said No Man Ever

You Might Also Like

@chrissyteigen

I don’t like charging my phone on the plane because a large part of me feels like I am sucking energy and power from the engine

@HomeProbably

Dogs look like they’ve received some really sad news when they watch you eat.

@chrisrockozfan

Most people don’t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

@Fred_Delicious

Good cop: u want a drink?
Good cop 2: I love your shirt
Good cop 3: ur so ripped dude
Good cop 4: the bad cops are striking today, handsome

@Girl_Censored

I’m not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I’m going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard…

@E_lok44

You know that runny food on your plate that touches all the other food? That’s you, butting into a conversation.
You’re creamed corn.

@BunAndLeggings

Just saw my 4yo eat a banana like a corn on the cob… so yes the quarantine has changed us.

@TheToddWilliams

SON: What’re you doing?

ME {scribbling maniacally on a sheet of paper}: Trying to find a solution to global warming!

SON: Cool

ME {slamming fist on the table}: That’s it!!

@TimBarnes451

So all them black Harry Potter wizards just sat there and let slavery happen?