@jewfacekilla: "Wow you're one of the nicest old ladies I've ever met!"- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear
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@LoveNLunchmeat: The good news is I'm pretty much who I say I am. The bad news is I'm pretty much who I say I am.
@Midgetspar: If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
@: "Bro I hate my eyebrows" "You serious bro?" "I think they're too big, bro" "Bro, with your face shape, they perfectly frame your eyes. I would kill for your brows, bro" "Bro :')"
@seraphicpetal: I asked my kids at dinner tonight, "What is something that makes you happy?" 10 : "Dopamine"