whoa, 4 ferrets stacked on top of one another wearing a trenchcoat!
“no, it’s me devin, from high school?”
wow ok you did not age well
“YES, BACON TOTALLY CAUSES CANCER!” – pigs
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*putting 4 to bed*
Me: we’re going to have a better day tomorrow, right?
Me: I just mean there was too much crying and whining today… so let’s try less crying and whining tomorrow
4: no, I won’t do that
Me: ok, good talk
Good Friday. No. Stop, I said no. NO. BAD FRIDAY. BAD.
I don’t care what anybody says, my six hours of Black Friday shopping saved me at least $7.50.
On second thought this “Thug’s Life” tattoo probably shouldn’t have been done in Comic Sans.
NASA: *clicks talk button* You folks are probably gonna wanna stay up there for a while
95% of American office workers are watching the World Cup right now.
Overall productivity level remains steady.
Me: how do I get one of those singing groups?
Director: you mean a choir?
Me: *exasperated sigh* yes fine, how do I acquire one of those singing groups?
Kid: Mom, will you play with me?
Kid: Okay, pretend you’re dead.
Me: This was the role I was born to play. *lays down and remains motionless for hours*
[at park, walking puppy]
Stranger: ‘Aww such a cutie…how old?’
Me: *blushing* ‘Thank you. 49.’