[Me as a doctor]
ME: I can’t find anything wrong with you. I suspect the problem is heavy drinking
PATIENT: Ok I’ll come back when you’ve sobered up
Yet another “No DMs” bio. All this civil rights progress but bigotry against Dungeon Masters is still tolerated.
You Might Also Like
My favorite part in Pretty Woman is her joy when he agrees to pay $3,000 for 6 days, effectively lowering her rate from $100/hr to $21/hr
Pretty certain the day I die my body will be found tangled in Saran Wrap with an untouched sandwich on the counter.
I remember when I was 12, dad caught me smoking a ham; so to teach me a lesson he made me smoke an entire herd of piglets.
If you cut off my head I’ll continue eating for two more days.
Just because I’m Irish doesn’t mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be.
I thought all the men at my gym were being exceptionally nice for a Monday morning but turns out my workout pants are just see-through.
GF: “You’re cute when you’re drunk”
Me: “You’re cute when I’m drunk too”
Hot Pringles in your area want you to jam your whole fist in their cans.
Donald Duck is far too angry for somebody who never has to suffer pants.