Yoda: Clouded, your future is.

Anakin: Are you smoking pot again?

Yoda: Six cheeseburgers, I want.

You Might Also Like


I like arugula because it’s good for me, delicious, and an old fashioned car horn sound.


All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats if you push people off them and sit real fast.


I’m playing chess against my gardener. Your move, Jesus.


*turns on broadcast TV*

Wow, I’m actually watching TV as it airs. Who even does that anymore?

*sees Activia ad*

*sees Metamucil ad*

*sees Cialis ad*

I think I have the answer.


Holy crap! This coin looks old as hell!

*checks the date*

It’s 15 years younger than me.


I promise to find a new girlfriend right away when my old girlfriend gets eaten by walkers.

America needs a first lady.


[getting murdered]

me: are u Scottish

murderer: yes

me: then u could say i’m being kilt

[murdering intensifies]