I can explain the casting for Thor. Norse mythology describes him as a “hauntingly beautiful blonde lady”
you are not alone. theres bugs
You Might Also Like
why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE
I’ve had about 13 beers so I guess I’ll give myself a haircut
I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore.
I kinda want to date him now.
Me: If you don’t like my rules, maybe you can find a different mom.
4yo: *excitedly* Can we really do that?
“Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you’ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you” – my fashion blog
Me at 13: I don’t understand why old people are so cranky
Me at 43: oh
[a mass poisoning of football players]
detective 1: I think there was mercury in the Gatorade
detective 2: Johnson, this is no time for your stupid astrology mumbo-jumbo
Whenever someone says “I don’t have a horse in that race” I respond with “You don’t have a horse at all, Reggie. You have a cat & diabetes.”
Friend: *sees my new tattoo of dogs kissing* Whoa! Is that permanent?!
Friend: Wow. What’s it mean?
Me: It means I can’t remove it.