Earth is indeed bipolar, but it’s not a disorder.
You can eat up to three spiders every night in your sleep, except on “cheat days” when you can eat as many as you like.
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Border Security does NOT think it’s funny when you reply,
when they ask you if you have anything to declare.
With inflation, it would be Mambo No. 6.59 in 2013
HER: [parallel parking] i’m so bad at this
HIM: you should probably get tested
HER: lol it’s not that bad
HIM: i have chlamydia
hello. i am the “friend” everyone has been asking questions for online. it has been a very rough three years but im starting to feel better. thanks for all your advice.
Sure kids cost roughly $14,000 annually, but think about all the money you’ll save from not having a social life.
Johnny Depp was the ultimate bad boy until he started looking like my great aunt.
“Do as many squats as you feel like, I don’t want to get involved.”
– impersonal trainer
Grammar Nazi hiding in Argentina captured after being baited on social media with an inappropriate you’re usage