@rebrafsim: You can't begin to imagine what an intolerable burden it is to be cursed with this staggeringly poignant flair for the melodramatic
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@SuperApple80: yeah breakups hurt but have you ever tagged someone on a meme and they reply back “I already saw this”
@ch000ch: me: siri, clear my evening appointments, i've got a date tonight. siri: "lol yeah ok. beep boop beep. gotcha."
@mommajessiec: Kid: Mom, will you play with me? Me: Sure. Kid: Okay, pretend you’re dead. Me: This was the role I was born to play. *lays down and remains motionless for hours*
@TheBoydP: Interviewer: Any questions? Me: Is a personal shopper someone who just goes on Amazon for you now?