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@ibid78: "You know what, that's some ?.."
"Calm down you're being irrational right now."
@jokeymcjokeface: If your name is Ella and you haven't opened a seafood restaurant called Salmonella's, what are you doing with your life?
@jonnysun: *sees sister's facebook post that her dog died*
how do i tell her i love her & i'll always be there for her
*clicks sad face button*
@guybranum: Siri, assemble a list of people who are dead to me.
@Brentweets: I went to handshake someone and he basically just gripped my thumb and I'm never going to be popular
@ThisOneSayz: My cardio is just me following my kids from room to room and turning off the lights.