@bornmiserable: You know you're on drugs when you're talking to your kids about drugs and you don't have any kids.
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@CountDankulaTV: The biggest issue with mass immigration is all those people are going to make Europe too heavy and it will sink into the ocean, and the see-saw effect will raise the far east into the stratosphere and launch Chinese people into space. Why is no one talking about this?
@SaltyCorpse: I have to go watch my kid in a math competition and I just don't understand why Jesus has forsaken me like this.
@WilliamAder: Went to the car wash and asked for one of those Brazilian wax jobs everyone's been talking about.