@chrisdowning: You should be able to twist the bottom of the pringles can to bring the chips to the top like a chapstick.
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@NewDadNotes: Cellmate: what are you in for? Me: I robbed a bank Cellmate: how’d you get caught? Me: [lights a cig and takes a long drag] I stopped to put all the money facing the same way
@PopSlapFunk: Fun Fact: You can be charged with home invasion and aggravated assault if you use a box cutter to break down cardboard and a hobo's inside.
@JohnFugelsang: My favorite Bible story is when Jesus feeds the multitudes after administering a drug test to make sure they deserve food.