@envydatropic

You would think with the whole “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” that there would be more body builders walking around.

You Might Also Like

@AngelaEhh

This running bra is the best thing invented, they didn’t say I’d have to transform into gumby to get the damn thing off though.

@shawn_spree

My wife is still mad at me for that 20 minute blank stare I did when she asked me what I was thankful for on Thanksgiving day.

@HushJared

A beloved neighborhood bagel shop called Schmear We Go Again

@TylerLinkin

My password is ELEPHANT. It may not be the strongest but I never forget.

@iscoff

My uncle started shouting at me about my “misuse” of emoticons and had a heart attack 😉

@JasonIsbell

Whoever accidentally put their dentist appointment in my ical it’s tomorrow morning! Don’t be late!

@joeyhuggles

My favorite response to someone asking how something works… “Magic” even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy

@jrsalzman

Twitter has taught me a couple things. First, there are some incredibly brilliant people in the world. Second, they are vastly outnumbered.