@Matt_The_1st: Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.

@Peauxtassium: Don’t count the days. Make the days count. Make the months do subtraction. Make the weeks recite the alphabet

@zachreinert03: Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich

@JediGigi: I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs.

@iGreenMonk: I touch myself when I think of you Oh! Wait It's not what you're thinking, I mean I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you.