@Tups13: Your time difference cannot harm me. My insomnia is like a shield of steel.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bea_ker: [guy bursts into crowded real estate agents] OK NOBODY MOVE *from back office* Aw c'mon man - really? It's tough enough in this economy.
@JustDontBugMe: M: MOMMMM, where are the scissors? I just bought a new pair! Edward Scissorhands: You mean these? M: Yesss! Could you just stop stealing my scissors every time you break a nail?!
@taddmike: friend: "ok, when does a joke become a 'dad joke'?" me, with no hesitation: "when it becomes apparent"
@Reverend_Scott: We need a ride home. "I called a Gruber" Don't you mean an Uber? [villain from 1988 Die Hard arrives in black Prius]