@TheWoodenslurpy: You’re a vegetarian who eats fish? I guess that makes sense since bears are basically vegetarians.
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@TheDailyManning: Dear girls, Santa saw your Facebook page, you're getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.
@IvoryGazelle: healthy as a horse? they literally can't walk down the street without shitting themselves but sure, ok
@b0dymassage: 'Joe whats that package ya got today?' "ITS MY BOOK ABOUT CLOCKS. I ORDERED IT LIKE 2 MONTHS AGO" 'Well its about time, right?' "RIGHT"
@BoogTweets: *Flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here's the thing. If Santa knows when kids are naughty or nice then he knew Rudolph was being bullied