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@DavidSaidNada: You’re complicated?
No shit so is my can opener.
@beefman138: People who scream on roller-coasters : Did you not expect it to go fast down the hill?
@tchrquotes: Me [seeing they want to give teachers guns because there are guns in schools]: There are also drugs in schools.
@SteveSackington: If you say "cash money" around me,
Don't act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts"
See how stupid that sounds?
@ShortSleeveSuit: Got kicked out of the supermarket for aggressively cuddling the peaches again
@cervixsmash: Psychiatrist cannibal by day, pop star singing sensation by night